Sunday, 7 May 2017

Scattered Pieces Of Everything.

I wish I had a photo of me Unlooking.

Sometimes, I wake up...with the zeal to do more, a lot of zeal actually, Ginger here, ginger there, gragra here, gragra there. I tell myself that things would be done withing a certain time range. Other times, I become lazy and I feel so relaxed.
Sometimes I wonder if I feel lazy because I do not want to put in more passion into my activities. Maybe, I don't know.

 Sometimes I sit and think about my life in a few years to come. I think of life after school. The very last day I drop my pen after my final exams, how would I feel? Complete maybe? Content? I don't know.

 I wish there was a soothsayer I could meet to show me my life, so that I can see what 30 would look like, If I would gain some pounds of flesh after all, or maybe I could choose to look into 50, would I be a grandma then?
Would I be Old and Grey at 70, or would I be a woman in her prime? Sometimes, these things bother me. Sometimes I shut my eyes and pray for the spirit of calmness, the spirit of discernment, the spirit of truth.

 Recently I find myself re-thinking . Like, thinking of something I have thought of before, of my choices-wondering if they were the right ones after all. 

Why do I feel so incomplete? So Angry, So pissed at nothing? I am a happy child, but sometimes even happiness fails to answer some of the questions I ask.

 ...And those times, those are  times I do not feel myself.
PS; This makes no sense, but it took a lot of things away.

 Kasie. O.


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