Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Expectations, A Very Bad Thing?

Oh I remember this day. I was feeling like a very big madam!

When I first put a foot into 2016, it was with expectations and high hope. I hoped that somehow, just somehow, I could become this great genie and master of myself, and that I could whisper or shout into the horizons, so long as my wishes were granted. Typing this now, I realize it was all a wish. Nope, I did not get all I hoped to get this year. Not all. Maybe next week, Maybe.

I have been holding on to a few things of late. A few people. I've had bad experiences with a couple of friends but no I did not learn half a lesson. I have this habit of not letting go. I always hold on to the precious moments and experiences I've had with people who later turn out to be a waste of my time. But even as I know this, I always get weak in the knees when I'm put in the same room with. Is it obsession? What is it biko?

The problem is, when a bad situation arises, I rant and rant and make loads of promises to self about how I shouldn't let one person soil my day and all,, but when that person comes as much as five blocks near me, I start to shiver and roll my eyes. It's worse when I really consider the person a very close friend. Maybe this should form my resolution for next year. Maybe.

My friend had to teach me how to pose differently, she got tired of seeing me pose the same way, every time.

What makes me happy above all these, is that 2016 turned out to be a year of discovery for me, and if I am not grateful for any other thing, I am grateful for this.So grateful. I re-discovered myself. Marked my strengths and weaknesses, tried so much to work on my faults and blossomed like a flower in a vase well cared for. I am grateful for the few things that are mine. I am grateful beyond words.

Hopefully, 2017 would see me walking into its territory like a boss chick that I am, oblivious of the whispers around, keen to learn more, to know more, to shine, to explode.

Hopefully 2017 would be the beginning of my best years yet. Hopefully, just hopefully.

Until then, Tekno's "Pana" on replay.

1 comment:

  1. Expectation becomes bad when I are not sure of getting it ...... Nothing is bad in the sight of God ..... He has made everything good

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