Thursday, 8 September 2016

Chyking Chronicles: When He Gets You Popcorn In A Bid To Woo You!

Chyking Chronicles is a collection of real life experiences told by ALAL blog visitors. Here, we share our different experiences with humans of the opposite sex. To have yours published,, simply send a mail to

Hi am Oma and here is my chyking experience.....

I just finished sec sch in 2008 and was forced to enroll for d Pre-degree program in FUTO since my pume score was missing. I left home with mixed feelings 'cos I was so shy and naive even though I was bread and (born and brought up in PH city)...

I got a hostel space in hall D FUTO hostel, arranged my corner under d prying eyes of my rumies. After that ^I slept since I had to wake up early ,prepare and go for lecture so I do not have to stand. So I dressed up in my looongggg skirt and top.( I could remember my rumie saying "is she going to church?"). I left d hostel and walked to SLT hall where 
I have my lectures. The class was so full already, I saw a space and sat and the next thing 
I heard was "someone is there o"....

I thought I was sitting on d person sef..I stood up sha o and one bobo said "hey lady u can have my sit" and I glady sat..Our first lecturer came in and introduced the course and left, other lecturers came during their periods and did same and we were done by 12.30. Mehn what was  i supposed to be doing from den till d next day...sleep,eat,music,READ!!! Oh yes o. that was what I came here for na. I packed my books and left d hall and headed home as in hostel and on my way, I perceived the aroma.."hmmmm", I asked myself, 
'were is that coming from?" 

 I traced  the aroma and found d place crowded with people, I went closer and saw it was popcorn...oh my love for popcorn was something else but iI did not know how I could access it with the whole crowd and all plus d fact that I am vertically challenged, chai it is well o I stretched and stretched to no avail and I imagined how zacheus felt before he climbed that tree to see Jesus..I looked around there was a mango tree but would I pass through that stress for popcorn?   Its not mango season yet u know? A voice said and brought me out of my imagination..oh I said and if he knew wat I was thinking.."hi" he said, I am mark and u are"?...."oma", I replied. He said "Oma as in omalicha or obioma"? 

"Ijeoma" I replied. "ok IJ hope i can call u dat?" I nodded avoiding eye contact of course.. "Can I get u popcorn?"..yes yes i said in my mind. He asked again and I said i would have loved it but d crowd was big and I wouldn't want to stress you after d lecture stress....not to worry dear he said,doing it for a pretty lady is nothing at all. He left and was back with popcorn in a jiffy."How did u do it?" I asked, never mind dear he answered..I said thanks and turned to go since my popcorn mission had been accomplished but he stopped me and  said "Erhm babe can I talk to you for a while?"..."hmm obikwa!! Talk kwa! Wat happened again.." I said . "Nothing much", he said "nothing really but could we go to somewhere quiet?" 

" Me and u? Somewhere quiet? Wat for? Why? How? I asked in my naivety. "whoa whoa calm down lady i just wanna know u more..oh ok den its simple i said ,no need for any quiet time, I am IJ from IMO, very quiet,love music.. dats all now u know me more. Mark laughed so hard and said i love ur naivity girl..

"No way did he just say i was naive? I walked out  fast and he followed immediately and apologized, i smiled but turned it to a frown immediately he caught up with me and told him he should never say dat to me. Well since i knew i wasn't doing anything in d hostel i decided to sit and hear wat he had to say. I asked him where he had in mind and he said sunic. We went sat down and ordered for a snack and drink.after a while he said "IJ I  like you". You like me? I asked, you have known me barely for one u know if I have been forming?"

 He said "i have known you from d day we went to pay our fee in d bank and during d registration are shy,lovely,love music,but not quiet.i have studied u for a week"

I laughed hard. He asked why and I said "do I look like predgree exam that you'd  be studying me or did you escort anyone to school? Don't u have book to read?"  

 He just stared at me and said "u see i know ur not quiet your a chameleon. He continued by saying he loves d way i smile,walk and he knows I'd b a serious student and that is why he wants to b my friend so ill make him serious and focused so he could pass his exams.he went further to say he just wants to be around me...hian be around me kwa..oh chimo zoputakwam..

He said he was supposed to be in CCE lecture hall but changed to SLT wen i found out that was my lecture hall . "So pls IJ make me a happy guy and accept my proposal".
 I answered u look happy already and wat proposal are u talking bout? Oh please stop acting like a baby you are in the university I musn't spell out d words.ok if dats what u want  ill say it.IJ be my gf".

" Why because of popcorn abi dis fanta and meatpie......" I asked 

"Ouch!" he said, u hurt me but its ok,everyone is entitled to his opinion,but ij i really mean good and have good plans for u and us".

"oh yes pastor, ride on pastor" i cut him short..Pastor which good r u talking about?  is it d same as d one in jer 29:11? There was silence and his embarrassed self  said "pls think bout it dear. Ill ask again. Lemme know wen you r ready to go......"

lol, he had to use the SUNIC strategy!


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