Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Obsession: Does It Always Have To End In Death Or Pain?

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I once had a friend who was living a life of fear. It was so bad. She had an ex-boyfriend whose primary aim was to live her life with her. She was a shadow of herself. I remember she couldn't turn right, left or center without telling me to survey the environment for her. It was that bad.

Her ex was a maniac. He did not believe in being incorrect, and somehow it created a problem for him wherever he went. He had few friends and each day the number reduced by one or two. Of course my friend knew he was this way before they started dating, but she took it to mean he was trying to protect his ego. I had an encounter with the said guy before he and my friend got together. It was at the ATM queue. 

I had come a few minutes earlier before he did, and had just left the line to submit something inside the bank. I told the person after me to keep my space, and that I would be back in a jiffy. It did not even take me ten minutes to conclude my business in the bank, and I was out. I went back to my line, only to be told to step out by a guy whose face I could barely recognize. 

Do you know I was in the bank for over an hour, arguing with this guy, trying to explain to him I was previously on the queue. He did not give me half of a listening ear. He prevented me from slotting in my card when my turn came, and said
neither of us would withdraw that day since I was trying to prove stubborn.Long story short, neither of us withdrew that day, we both went home. I know this sounds crazy but it actually happened.

Then he began dating my friend. Imagine my shock when she introduced me to her new boyfriend. I tried to ask her in a calm way if she was aware of the traits this guy possessed, and she said yes. I did not want it to seem as though I was trying to intrude, so I let them be.

The relationship did not even last five months before my friend started running to my room to complain. She complained about his anger issues, about his pride, about his nonchalant attitude to things that were important to her,about everything. After series of sweet talks and all, she finally calmed down.. She slept in my room that night.

At night, her phone rang. It was him, she did not pick. He called again. He gave her 84 missed calls, she did not pick. Her battery went down, and she charged it only for it to get drained again 'cos he kept calling.. The next morning, we went to the buka  behind our hostel to eat. Just as we sat down he came in. He had been trailing us.

No manner of insults and moral sentences kept him away, he just kept showing up, everywhere..At a time, it became too much for my friend so she had to leave school for sometime..

He had a minor accident, so he had to stop tracking. I guess he forgot all about her while recuperating.

But, why did it have to take an accident to stop him? Why did he not just decide to stop, you know, stay away"?

Why do men take pride in having the last laugh?
I was once involved with someone who practically parented me. He would call me every second to know where I was and what I was doing , and if it wasn't something he liked, he would give orders to for me to stop. Hehe, baba!

Of course girls too get obsessed with certain  things, and the crazy ones do crazy things... But in the end, it's all about self control. There would always be better things in life than what you currently have. Better people. Do not pride and refusal to accept defeat make you get stuck on one thing, when there are better things and people out there.

I'd rather move ahead to greater things than let defeat or pride lead me into doing something I'd regret all my life.

Je T'aime.


  1. Wow.men and pride.. Nollywood movies do not lie with what they show us.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. They do not lie my dear. But obsession is not a man's thing alone. You'd be surprised to know the lengths obsessed women go to to achieve what they want.

  2. Crazy dude..they are many in Futo


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