Wednesday, 23 December 2015

If Only God Did Not Create Rats.

Beautiful people, I do not need to spell out what rats are to you,abi?  and  I am sure lots of you out there share the same amount of hatred I have for them. I mean it, this post is no joke.
I need a pied piper in my life( remember the story of that flute player who used his music to chase away rats from that town.....), yes, I need him. I am sure many of you are wandering what would make me write a post about rats, but I had to biko, I've had enough! Okay lemmie tell you what happened.

Yesterday evening, I had to bring down the our mortar from the table in the kitchen, 'cos I wanted to pound yam to make Nsala soup, and as soon as I carried the mortar to drop on the floor, two big hairy rats literally flew from God knows where to the floor barely missing my legs. Now I was still carrying the heavy mortar, and out of fear I dropped it in a bid to run out of the kitchen, but I did not move a muscle. I did not run because the mighty mortar in my hands, descended on my feet...*crying*

What did I do to these rats to deserve this treatment? I do not look for trouble,I treat them well, back in the school hostel before it was renovated, i did not keep rat poison and crayfish in my woad robe to chase them away,I've been as kind as I can be, but my kindness was not reciprocated.. So, Its payback time.
I've decided to poison them all. As soon as I click "publish " on my blogger account, I would go out and get otapiapia. I promise you, I would spare no one. Enough is enough.

PS: These rats shouldn't think I would deal with just their brothers and sisters in Lagos, and spare those in Owerri, NA LIE!. When I get back to school I would kill them all, by jove I would, and I would so laugh as I watch them eat my precious crayfish, scurry to one corner of the room, squeak and squeak, until they die. Ike agugo m.

From a girl who has had her fair share of rats...


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