Thursday, 12 November 2015

One Funny Man I Encountered Three Days Ago.

I've had my own fair share of laughter with this, and I am not stingy, I must share!. lol!  Three days ago, I had to accompany a friend of mine to the police station. She had issues with her caretaker and instead of resolving it at home, the caretaker wanted to show he was stronger by reporting her. He called the local vigilante around and when my friend refused to pay the amount they were demanding, they took her to the station..That one aside..

When we got to the station,i had to wait for my friend, who was near the counter, trying to explain what happened to the policemen... I sat on a bench near the wall, beside a man and his wife( she couldn't be more than nineteen) and their little baby.
The man turned to me and asked if I wanted to carry his child and I agreed, the baby was looking at me with cute eyes anyway and I would have offered to carry him if his dad had not suggested it.. The man( lemmie call him FUNNY MAN) then proceeded to tell me what he was doing at the station. He said was riding his bike home, after going to the viewing center to watch the under-17 finals. It was around 1:20 am. When he got to a particular junction near his house, he met some policemen there on night patrol. They apprehended him and asked him to explain why he was going home that late, he tried to give them reasons but they did not believe, they seized his motorcycle and told him to come the next day to retrieve it.

FUNNY MAN was sounding funny, especially as his very very thick accent kept making it difficult for me to understand what he was saying, but I kept nodding, to show him he had my full attention.. His next display shocked me.FUNNY MAN suddenly stood up and began dancing to a song that was playing across the street. I had never seen anyone dance like that. I just kept mopping. FUNNY MAN stopped dancing and asked me "Do you like the way I dance"? , I nodded, I did not know what to say. He then said "My wife can dance well well, sometimes, when I'm angry or she's happy, she'll come in front of me and shake shake all her assets.". My people, my new friend started dancing again, showing me all his wife's dance moves...hehe...

His wife kept saying, "ifuro ife ina-ezuzu". Can't you see what you are doing, stop it"!. FUNNY MAN stopped dancing and turned to me, "Don't mind her oo, she likes it when I'm like this, she likes it when I play with her. Before we got married, I played with her very well, e merem ya kpa kpa! I made sure all my sperm  went into her, can't you see how handsome my son is,eeh ! a true son of his father, a complete son..!"

My people, I couldn't laugh, for fear of being seen as disrespectful, but I kept looking at the woman's face, she was not smiling at all.
I wanted to say something to the wife when my friend appeared, and we had to leave..I told FUNNY MAN I had to leave,and then said goodbye to his wife who in turn thanked me for carrying her child..
My friend couldn't stop laughing when I told her the story, and we both agreed I had quite an adventure, and that FUNNY MAN was in for the talk of his life.

1 comment:

  1. emerem ya kpa kpa
    Funny 'lunatic' man indeed
    Can imagine the look on her face


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