Monday, 7 December 2015

Relationships :Are You A Control Freak ?

Howdy beautiful people, kedunu? Thank you for sticking with me, even in my unfaithfulness. Now I have a question. How often does jealously make you go beyond your extremes? 
Being in a relationship and not feeling jealous from time to time is a lie in itself, but different people have different methods of controlling it. I've heard of boyfriends who keep tabs on their girls' phones, and girlfriends who visit all the time just to make sure there is no feminine slipper adding beauty to the carpet on the floor near her boo's room. Are you guilty of this and want to change your evil ways ? lol..., well, here's why you are that way, and how to stop it.

  1. A lack of trust in each other. Trust is the ultimate. Lack of trust can make you become someone you never thought you could be. The both of you should acknowledge that you are separate beings who both have brains, points of view, values, and good ideas, and that you go about your businesses in the only way you know how to . If you think your partner’s control issues stem from a lack of trust, ask for a trial experiment. For two weeks, your partner will trust you to make your own decisions.He/ she would not act funny, 'cos of the obvious bone of contention at that moment At the end of two weeks, see if the world has come to an end. If it hasn’t, ask for a few more weeks, just be your self, Give him/her no reason to doubt you.                
  2. A lack of belief in good things to come. Many control issues come from the feeling of being out of control and the worry that terrible things will happen as a result. The problem with this, though, is that most of the things that we try to control are really not within our control anyway. And no matter what we may or may not do, unfortunate events will occur from time to time. No one gets out of this lifetime without suffering a little bit of hardship. You should trust your partner to make his/her own decisions and also trust them to be strong enough to deal with the ramifications of their decisions—whether they be good or bad.                                                                
  3. Low self esteem. Some people control others because it’s the only way they know how to feel loved. If they tell you to do something and you bend to their will, they think, “Oh, she really loves me.” This is, of course, dysfunctional, but it helps to understand the mentality. If you think your partner  controls because of self esteem issues, talk about other ways you can show your love, or help him/her build their courage box.                                                                                                                                               
  4. You want to dominate. This is very common with men. Some men use control as a means of gaining the upper hand and dominating the other person. This type of control may start off as what seems like harmless jealousy. It’s usually not harmless. This is dangerous and usually leads to verbal and physical abuse. I’m not sure if there’s a solution to this type of control issue other than this one: run for your life..........biko.                                                                                                                

1 comment:

  1. I am ok with the woman I love so I trust her with everything ......... Those words we had private I don't joke with ..... I am content with what ever I get because I know she loves me too


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