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Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Blog Visitor's Post: Matters Of The Heart (1)

Hi guys,
    
          This post was sent in by someone who needs help. He's having a difficult time right now and has written this to express how he feels. PLS READ. PLS ADVISE.

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      People around you would assume so many things, accuse you of so many things.  What they say about you might be true, they might misjudge you, but in my case, I will say they are saying the truth.
 People say I'm too harsh, too heartless, serious and stubborn, but I would not blame them for saying this. What they do not know is that something led to my transformation. The kindhearted boy became a monster, even to his own family.


I wrote this because I want people to know how I became who I am and how I turned "heartless" as they say.  It's about the matters of the heart. Feelings can mar you if you are not careful and the fear of being a victim again was what made me lock up my emotions in the deepest pit of myself.
Before I became this person people say I am, I was a kind loving boy, full of ideas and creativity. Although I can say I have not lost the gift of creativity, I cannot say I have the kind loving spirit anymore.  

I fell in love with this beautiful girl in my early teenage years. I was willing to do anything for her. She was my first. I guess the strength of love I had for her was because I was just starting to experience that part of life, but I didn't care. Even when my friends advised me to be careful with the way things were, and also given the fact that our locations were far apart (South and East), that I should be careful, I never listened to them. I loved her so much and I gave it my all.
I can say that I was fully dedicated. Not having her around was discomforting to me and I always looked forward to days we would see each other, mostly during Christmas period.

Christmas came, and I was so happy because I was to see her after such a long period. I waited for a for a long time,I even saved up enough money to flex her with, so she wouldn't have any reason to complain, but when she arrived, I was a stranger to her. Everything changed. She treated me like I was nobody, sometimes in the presence of my friends. It looked as if nothing ever happened between us. I tried to win her back throughout that period to no avail. She later went back to the south while I resumed school back in the east. I couldn't get hold of myself, it was really painful.My grades went down and most of my teachers who noticed, asked me what the problem was and did not get a reasonable answer. I got over it , and vowed never to give myself in to love anymore.

I do not know why I took things to the extent to which I took them, but I did things. I stood up from my pool of tears, got dry and moved back on. Everyone was happy wandering how I got back on track so fast . They saw what looked like a new resolution in me, but did not understand. What they did not know was that I buried a part of me in order to survive. 

Life moved on. I was still growing and full of life. Girls were flaunting around me obviously because of my good looks, they were professing love for me, how they wanted to date me, and things like that. HAHA. " Its time to strike" I told myself.........
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To be continued in the next post



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